it must be the weather, but I'm enjoying reading my old journal.

Hot Press. WORKS IN PROGRESS.











A new series of work in drawings. Based on the ephemeral and effervescent nature of thought.

if gpa's were foreign aid, the world would be little-changed.

here's the thing. i know i've made more than my fair share of mistakes. in fact, it would be safe to say that i've made more mistakes more frequently than most people you will ever encounter in your life. i'm not the worst person in the world, but a lot of times it feels that way. the cold blank stares from the people you've hurt in the past. and that tight knot in your stomach when you can't get to sleep at night. our lives leave impacts on the world around us. hopefully for good, but more often then we think, for bad. but here's the good news: the past is the past. and what matters is what we do not what we've done. and i've said some pretty horrible things to some pretty incredible people. incredible because thats what god says about them. and im so enamored by his grace. because he doesnt just give us one second chance. he gives us like eternal second chances, and there is no limit to how many times he'll forgive the same mistake. and that is the most incredible thing in the world. because i know how hard it is to forgive someone the first time. and how much harder it is the next. and each time it doesn't get easier to forgive,in fact it gets exponentially harder. how great is his love that even our rotten hearts cannot separate us from him. thank you for being by my side and knocking, waiting- by my hearts door. when the whole world left me cold and alone you were there saying it's ok, i know you're not a bad person. and you forgave me. i love you.

i just want to be that person i see in my dreams.

21 hours of progress.

you are a catheter of pure happiness.


it's six o'clock in the morning i open my eyes and think about you i thought it was like a never ending fairy tail but i'm alone in my bedroom, looking at the celling thinking about what we have what we've done i was thinking about our life together thinking about our love the only thing i know is that i'm in love with you that i'm in love with you

walking with you to class and sidewalks dashed to pieces with color as we pass. and you said don't get caught in the rain, wish id get caught in the rain with you. and those green eyes. all ways thought you were too good for this world. maybe you'd find yourself this next semester being stretched from all sides- outlined in my mind with archival inks. you made me think about things like arteries and how to eat an ice cream without getting brain freeze. and you know your way about life, and i figure you'll do fine, but sometimes i wish that you would be mine. and i wonder if our seats will always be reserved, and if we talked forever would i ever run out of words? and then i pause like its your turn you never miss a beat never accept defeat always discreet and your sweet tooth is NOT petite. and as we fly down these city streets, and i think of all the words id like to speak- and i'm that warm fold you like to tuck your hand beneath. i sink into my seat and soak those chemicals up into my blood- you see it's more than just having fun.

Two more days of working on the youth room at WOL:

//BETTER SHOTS//

me and my sister went on a date to the science museum. sometimes it was hard to think of things to say. we had a great time, i took pictures of all the things your not supposed to. i was almost mistaken as part of a group of middle schoolers. we ate lunch at a place called mr. moes, it kicked butt, we met the owner. i had more ideas in an hour there then i've had all week. its all in my camera now.

newwww stuff. trying a few things out in my down time:

first week accomplishments.

( weep )

and i just really dont know what to say or think but i think its like that time when i saw you for the first time. WHY are your deep eyes so blue? and if you dont mind, what is it like to know what it's like to know you? and your blonde hair drives me wild. yea its just your perfect sense of style and your blue eyes. i always tried too hard. and if i knew better i'd just ask you for a ride because it was always those times that made me wish i lived further. misty blue eyes. i tried rhyming words like 'divine' but it was like child's play when the only thing playing back on my mind was soaps that all ended with you being mine. and those dusty jeans were perfect and the world really blurred around you. i always thought is was funny the way your toes seemed so bony but i didnt mind. i liked the colors you chose. you were practical and accomplished with a torrent of syllables at your every command. and you closed your eyes when youd recite but i always liked it better when you were done and there it was like silence filling the room and the camera close up was of you and those summer blues. i never knew what to do when i had you.

my room is getting a makeover.
( progress )

any suggestions/requests?

Ok I get it. Fate is the force that brings lovers together. It lingers behind us and looms around every turn. We can't escape it, and why should we? Apparently it's only intention is to set up gorgeous couples with each other so they can live happily ever after. Ok i love John Cusack. Trust me I'm as big a fan as one can get without being creepy. But let me get one thing straight, John, you did the wrong thing man. Kate Beckinsale was cute, GIVEN. I even was rooting for you when you shared those amazing 10 minutes in the city. But 7 years later you were about to get married to someone else and you screwed it up. You screwed it up and you didnt even care. I didn't want to believe it. I somehow needed to know that your fiance had committed some horrid sin to have forced you to leave her on the night before the wedding. I was hoping she had cheated. I would have even been happy with a bizarre fate like fiance swap conclusion. But the truth is she loved you and was not even a sly bit selfish but you took advantage of it and tossed her to the curb. The camera's couldnt even show her face for the anguish that you put her through. What should have happened: After Halley gave you that book with Kate's number in it you should have decided that even if you could find her now, what is more important is your love for your fiance and your future together. I mean how ironic can it get? I think we all know that Kate is the girl that ruins every man's life. She is the elusive "other" girl. The one we keep hoping we'll meet. Even when we've met her, have her in our arms, suddenly the face changes and we're off again. I say death to Kate. It's the only way out. It's the only answer to fate.

a few pics from last thursday's bombing:

yea make it feel like the wind at night blowing past faces on beaches with no names. i saw a skyline that's brighter than miami skies and i'm inching towards it with my longest strides. the sidewalks are alive. and with every car that goes by i'm reminded of the eastern tide. monolithic giants are dwarfed by the massive sky. so you can imagine what it does to your pretentious life. clothed in tshirts on rooftops we'll make our fame. and we'll always be known as a face with no name.

sometimes i go for a walk in my mind. i visit all the places i've always wanted to go. i have photo albums from all the trips, snippets from flickr albums and magazine dreams. when you walk somewhere it means your in it for more than just getting there. i notice the little things. the way the blackness of the night wraps around the edges of everything. the stencils we're carrying make us appear as crusaders of the night. this is more than a night, this is life. the color camera captures our heroic stance in mid stride. and we trail off into the darkness in this urban jungle. to be remembered forever. to be more than just ghosts.

i saw at least 1 great smile today. one that doesn't even know it's full effect on me. if i tried to, i could shift the cosmos and the universe would look perplexed. as it winked at itself, it would see me smiling back knowing it knew, that i knew what it knew. and whatever inside joke we had, wouldn't even come close to what i'd be feeling then. some things are just better when you imagine them.